Edition #1: Monday, April 21 to Sunday, April 27, 2025

1. The Two-Way Door

2. Who's On First

3. Spring Ice

4. When I Was One-and-Twenty

Welcome to The Ambler.

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Thank you.

Clair Culliford

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1. The Two-Way Door

by Clair Culliford

★ Listen to the author read this entry.★

A business near downtown Chatham has an insey outsy door. Push or pull, both ways work fine. This is a great advantage for me, as I nearly always pull (or push) the wrong way with conventional doors. Even if there’s a sign saying "Push” or “Pull,” I sometimes pull rather than push (or the other way round). I’m afraid I’ve never been very good at following instructions.

It’s only one door (the one in the near-downtown business), also, which makes things easy. If a building has two side-by-side doors, look out! One of them is almost always locked, to make things difficult. I nearly always push (or pull) the locked one.

Is there a convention here that I’m unaware of? Left door locked if you’re going in, right if out? And then there’s the pull or push bar in the middle of many locked doors. What good are they if the door doesn’t work?

It’s not that I’m incompetent. I’m fine with most other things. I can get from here to there whenever I want to. I know my left and right and back again. I aways try to be honest

Could it be that two doors together seem to say to me, “behind one of us is wisdom, or a tiger, or a grand adventure”? Is there more to doors than ingress and egress?

Of course, even if I see a “Use Other Door” sign, I sometimes go for the wrong one.

No matter how many doors I open and close, I’ve not yet found wisdom.

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2. Who’s On First?

by Abbott & Costello and Clair Culliford

★ Listen to the author read this entry. ★

Abbott and Costello (William Alexander Abbott and Louis Francis Cristillo) were the most popular American comedy team in radio, film, and television in the 1940s and 1950s. During the Second World War, they were the world’s highest paid entertainers. “Who’s on First?” is their most famous routine and one of the most famous comedy routines ever recorded.

Costello was the “comedian” or “funny man” of the duo. He bumbled his way through situations; was easily and overwhelmingly confused and frustrated; played with, twisted, and threw the hat he always wore; and sometimes seemed unable to understand the simplest things.

Abbott was the “straight man.” He maintained his composure, always seemed in charge, and spoke well. His words and demeanour were designed to make Costello be as funny as possible.

Without a good straight man (and I suspect Abbott was one of the best), a funny man isn’t nearly as funny. Costello arranged that their earnings be split 60/40 in favour of Abbott, because he believed that the straight man was the most important part of the team.

It was the finely-tuned interplay between Bud and Lou that had audiences in stitches. The pair were so famous that during a national tour in 1942 to raise money for the United States war effort, they sold an estimated 85 million dollars in war bonds in 35 days. In 2025 American dollars, that would be over one billion 651 million dollars. Wowza!

They performed “Who’s on First” for two decades, beginning in 1936. They ceased being partners in 1957. Costello died in 1959 and Abbott in 1974.

The two following videos are considered the best filmed versions of “Who’s on First.” The first was recorded live in front of an audience of retired actors in 1953; the second is from the 1945 film, “The Naughty Nineties.” Take your choice or watch both.

Though the routine is about baseball, you don’t need to know about or enjoy the game. The laughs in “Who’s on First?” come from the complexities and absurdities of language and from our misunderstandings of our fellow humans.

Enjoy!

Note: Consider using headphones or earbuds as you watch. these are old recordings and the sound isn't the best.

oihoioio

;l,mlk

Finally…

Here’s a “cheat sheet” for first-time viewers. The list gives the baseball position first, then the name of the player in that position.

• First Base: Who

• Second Base: What

• Third Base: I Don't Know

• Left Field: Why

• Center Field: Because

• Pitcher: Tomorrow

• Catcher: Today

• Shortstop: I Don'at Care or I Don't Give a Darn or I Don't Give a Damn

Oddly, there's no Right Fielder. If there were, I would suggest the name Forever.

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3. Spring Ice

by Tom Thomson

This oil on canvas painting was created in 1916. It is 28.3 by 40.3 inches or 72 by 102.3 centimetres. It's in the National Gallery of Canada in Ottawa.

Here's the Wikipedia article about Thomson and here's the one about Spring Ice.

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4. When I Was One-and-Twenty

by A. E. Housman

★ Listen to Clair Culliford read this entry. ★

vvvvv

Housman, one of my favourite poets, lived from 1859 to 1936. This poem appeared in his book, A Shropshire Lad, in 1896. "Crowns and pounds and guineas" are denominations of English money.

When I was one-and-twenty

      I heard a wise man say,

Give crowns and pounds and guineas

      But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies

      But keep your fancy free.”

But I was one-and-twenty,

      No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty

      I heard him say again,

“The heart out of the bosom

      Was never given in vain;

Tis paid with sighs a plenty

      And sold for endless rue.”

And I am two-and-twenty,

      And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.

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